President Donald Trump has officially ruined Easter for Americans. For all the campaign promises about making life easier, particularly when it comes to lowering grocery prices, it seems that one key Easter essential – eggs – has become more expensive than ever.
Egg prices soared to a record-breaking $6.23 per dozen in March, making the typical Easter egg hunt a luxury no longer within reach for many families.
While President Trump may have been preoccupied with more controversial matters, like his wrongful deportations or making life harder for transgender kids, it’s clear that eggs are now so expensive, they might as well be called “Semi-Precious Protein Ovoids.”
If you’re planning an Easter egg hunt this year, you might want to prepare for an alternative: a potato hunt. Yes, with egg prices out of control, some families are resorting to decorating potatoes for their Easter egg hunts.
If you think this sounds ridiculous, you’re not alone. A glance at recent headlines tells you just how dire the situation has become:
“Easter egg hunts in jeopardy as egg prices hit highs,” “Egg-straordinary prices threaten Easter fun as egg costs hit record highs,” “Eggs are so expensive that some Americans are decorating potatoes this Easter.”
Congratulations to those who voted for Trump; this is the Easter your kids will remember forever. Instead of gathering eggs, they’ll be running around hunting for potatoes, all while dreaming of a scrambled egg breakfast they can’t afford.
As if the Easter disaster weren’t enough, Trump still hasn’t owned up to the mess he’s created. In a press briefing on April 17, he claimed that grocery prices were “substantially down.”
This is far from the truth, especially when it comes to eggs. He also said that “eggs are all over the place, and the price went down 92%.” That’s completely false.
A quick trip to your local grocery store will show you the real story. Egg prices haven’t gone down – they’ve skyrocketed.
Maybe while you’re at the store, you can grab some potatoes, because that’s about all you’ll be decorating for Easter.
If you’re still planning to make the best of Easter after Trump’s failed promises, here are some tips. If you support Trump, maybe you should take a break from flaunting your MAGA gear and hide it for the kids to find.
Given the egg price crisis and all the other mess that’s been happening, you might want to reconsider your merch for your peace of mind.
For those of you who didn’t vote, or sat this election out because neither candidate was appealing, you can print out your 401(k) statement, dye it in bright colors, and make it part of your own “Easter egg” hunt. You might not have eggs to hide, but you can still hide those important financial papers.
Finally, if you can’t stand Trump and all his broken promises, why not have the kids go out and see if they can find any Trump supporters? At least you know where they’ll be hiding: not in the egg hunt.
If one lucky kid happens to find a Trump supporter, they’ll win the grand prize – a real egg! Now that’s a true Easter miracle.
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