By Dr. Tess Smith-Thomas
University of Kentucky
No matter how old you are, talking to a doctor or nurse can be stressful. Whether it’s for a routine wellness visit or in the event of illness or injury, many people feel nervous, anxious, or unsure of what to say. But it’s important to communicate with your healthcare team. The more you tell them, the more they understand and can help. Some strategies can help you better communicate with your providers, even at a young age.
Here are a few tips you can try at your next visit or you can use to support your child in navigating communicating with providers:
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Start small
. If talking to doctors feels overwhelming, you don’t have to jump into a long conversation right away. Start small. Try making eye contact, giving a simple “hello,” or answering yes/no questions. As you get more comfortable, you can work your way up to asking questions or sharing more about how you’re feeling.
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Take notes and practice
. When we’re nervous, it’s easy to forget what we wanted to say. Writing down your questions or concerns before your appointment can help you stay on track. You might also find it helpful to practice what you want to say with a trusted family member or friend. Younger kids might practice conversations while engaging in medical play, taking turns acting like the doctor and patient. Rehearsing can help you feel more prepared and avoid the feeling of frustration when you leave your appointment and realize there was more you wanted to say.
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Bring a support person
. Having a trusted family member or friend with you can be a big help. Having someone there that makes you feel safe can help you feel more comfortable. They can also remind you of things you wanted to ask, support you if you get overwhelmed, or even speak up for you if you’re not ready to talk. Younger kids can come up with a signal or “code word” to let their caregiver know when they need a break or want them to take the lead.
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Take deep breaths
. Before your appointment, take a few minutes to focus on your breathing. This can slow down your heart rate and help your body feel more relaxed. Inhale slowly, take a brief pause, and then exhale slowly. Repeat this a few times to help calm your nerves. You can teach younger kids to take deep breaths too. You can ask them to pretend to smell flowers and then blow out candles.
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Bring coping items
. Comfort items can make a big difference during medical visits. Things like stress balls, fidget toys, or for younger kids a favorite stuffed animal can help you feel more at ease. Even clicking a ballpoint pen or fidgeting with a ring on your finger can provide a much-needed distraction, especially while you are waiting at the office. These items give your hands something to do and can make you feel safer and more in control.
These tips can help you take small steps toward feeling more comfortable and being an advocate for yourself on your healthcare journey. However, it’s okay to ask for help and if your level of distress is interfering with your ability to seek care or you want more support, a mental health professional can help address your specific concerns. Being open with your healthcare team can help you get the best care possible.
Dr. Tess Smith-Thomas, Ph.D., is a pediatric psychologist at Kentucky Children’s Hospital